I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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