Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
