you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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