I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
