why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Oh god it's open bar.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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