so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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