Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
