I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
