make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
