So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
