lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
