I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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