i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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