Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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