hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Randomize
