At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
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