my mouth tastes like poor choices
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
