He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
