Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
