she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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