Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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