I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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