I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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