she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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