youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
