It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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