oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize