i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
