i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
