video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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