Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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