If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
