soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
