New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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