Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
