I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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