wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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