Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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