Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
