So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
