writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
