I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
