Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
