He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
