Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
