Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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