How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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