Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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