Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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