is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
