I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
try to milk me bitch
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