I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
