So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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