Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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