if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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