And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
