Apparently you make a good broom.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
